Am I That Cruel?? :'(

I love animals. And I am a cat person, based on my personality and life elements. People know that. Everyone aknowledge that. Through what I constantly posted on my social network and how much I spend my life time around my fur buddy all this while.

But there are at times, when I feel I am at the bottom of that altitude. There are sometimes lots lots lots of situations often dragged me out of being a person everyone knew.

As we all can see, having pets can never be easy. Instead of ensuring the welfare of their well being, their food, their shelter, their health, a pet owner at the same time are considered as the most patience, tolerate, generous, commited and are the coolest breed of human being can be found on Earth.

I was that kind of human being long time ago. WAS. I don't know why lately I seem to have a lot of issue regarding pets ; in my house (mom's house) especially is. I can't tolerate few things that I have to struggle sharing my home and life with them.
I don't understand myself so much lately. For me, I don't mind spending a lot for my pets in terms of money and expenses. Not at all. In fact, I've always believe that being generous to animals and helping them to survive their life can lead us into the bless of God.

But.. sometimes, I lost my tempered so badly when it comes to the mess they made. They are all uncontrollable when they litter everywhere around the house. They peed anywhere they could (even on my bed) and wanted to, everyday, in no time at all, no limits when my mom release them out of their room to clean their cage-house and litter box.

In my mind, I've always thinking of beating them, cursing them with harsh words in my heart and I even thought of sending them to the cat shelter in town.

I know animals have no intelligence quality like humans do. They can only protect themselves from harm and dangerous, but they can't barely know to differenciate things either its good or bad. I realize that.

However, I have no idea why do I keep on feeling that way. Seems like there are something lays beside me and whispered to me to think and even acting on that way.

Again. Read this. I love animals. I love my pets so much. Nothing can change that fact untill my last blow of breathe. And everytime I watch a vedio or reading articles posted on website about the animals abusing, it brokes my heart, crashing it into pieces. By that time I was thinking again, everything that people did to the animals they abused, its kinda like how I was ever thought on my own feline friends. Oh Allah, please have mercy on me. Please forgive all my sins towards them all.

I'll improve my heart. My attitude.

-QOTD- without my pets, my house would be cleand, my wallet would be thick, but my heart will be empty.

I love all of you my FUR BUDDIES. :'(